Heartbreak
by YLCourt
Summary: My take on what Cagalli, Kira and Shinn are thinking of when the Battle of Crete happened... Spoilers included with my imagination too.


Disclaimer: I do NOT own GSD episodes...

Note: In Cagalli Yule Athha, Kira Yamato and Shinn Asuka's POV in/after GSD epi 28 when Shinn sunk Takemikazuchi and the battle ends. Huge portions of spoilers in this one-shot fic of mine... and also of my imagination to what happened after episode 28 ended...

"_Words in italics" – Words spoken by original characters_

_Words in italics – Cagalli's own 'concluding' thoughts_

* * *

_**  
POV of Cagalli Yule Athha**_

I cannot believe my eyes at all...

"_The moment you left the country, our hearts died. We're already ready for this (battle)!"_

_So it's my fault that Orb is now in Black Sea fighting the ZAFT ship Minerva? I felt my heart aching in my chest and tears just threatened to fall down my face as the battle went on. _

And as I watched Sword Impulse slashing through the Orb's military fleet with me doing nothing, I could felt my heart freezing in the cold of my cockpit... I COULD DO NOTHING TO HELP THEM? A wave of helpless washed over me so much so that it made me feel numb from inside out and I could just stupidly do nothing to help Orb fight that 'invading' gundam...

And as the Orb commander who had imprinted his sentence let his subordinates to attack Minerva, one of Athrun's sentences suddenly entered my mind –

"_Did you think that Orb would just retreat if u came out? That's not what you should have done! Stop with this nonsense and go back to Orb!"_

Athrun may be right... I should have returned to Orb and try to retake Orb's leadership from the hands of the Seiran family... But I was too scared of returning... What if I were to be forced into marriage once more to Yuuna? What if I were to be failing to do what I am thinking of doing? Will my life be in danger?

_Yes, I am scared for my life, being a coward for once in my entire life or will it happen again in future? How could I be so selfish then?_

Those thoughts made my heart ached even more as t

_... But first I must stay alive..._

I dodged all of them and a Murasame came before me, calling out to me to as "Cagalli-sama, please stand back..." In the next moment its side got hit by Impulse's shot and the Murasame was destroyed in front of my very eyes. I could only tilt my head back as another pang of pain just hit my chest squarely without any mercy. My heart felt like dripping drops of blood and numbness just took full control over me...

As my mind was in a total state of blankness, I could only blindly look at Impulse slashing ALL the ships, with Takemikazuchi the only left but about to be destroyed completely too... However, I could also see most of the crews escaping from the ship, rushing down to the lifeboats...

* * *

_**  
POV of Shinn Asuka**_

As I brought down one of my two swords of my Sword Impulse across this command ship of Orb, I felt a pang of guilt suddenly hitting onto my chest. Bu I ignored it as the scene of my family being blown to pieces in Onogoro Island came into my mind once more... The silly ideals of Orb which I had trusted so much on just brought on the war closer to my homeland...

I must had be too innocent to think that Orb's ideals will sought to protect us, but I was proven wrong... Instead of protection and safety, it just brought more enemies to our doorstep. Cagalli Yule Athha, the now representative of Orb, agreed to a damned alliance with the Earth Alliance Forces (EAF) without resisting it at all! And on the day itself she escaped from her own wedding! This I can never forgive... She just makes things worst by appearing in the battles we Minerva had with EAF and Orb, she, Archangel and Freedom just makes the battlefield confused without contributing anything to the safety of Minerva, instead, more damage...

As the ship that I had slashed through exploded, my hands brought my Impulse jumping into mid-air and I saw the Strike Rouge further floating from me, as the mobile suit made no move at all, and obviously I could see that its pilot Cagalli Yule Athha must be too shocked of my destruction of Orb's entire fleet. Well she will need to blame herself of not being able to stop the alliance if not Orb would not fight us and get destroyed by me...

I felt my eyes narrowing as a deep feeling of disappointment and anger sprang to my heart. I will not let her go off this easily after her Orb attacked Minerva and me... Without thinking twice, I got Impulse to fly towards the pink Strike Rouge with my sword in front of my Impulse.

At a far distance away from me, I could see the previously unknown mobile that I had come to know as Freedom flying towards us. He must be trying to save Cagalli... Too bad... unknown to me, I smirked...

Quickly, I got Impulse to fly much faster towards the Orb representative's mobile suit, slashing my sword towards her direction but surprisingly, she suddenly seemed to snap out of her stupor, dodging my sword and using her shield to block my swing of my sword towards her cockpit quickly...

* * *

_**  
POV of Cagalli Yule Athha**_

Finally, Impulse walked slowly up to the bridge of Takemikazuchi and used one of its swords to slash past it. The blow of the sword made the whole ship blew up to smithereens. I agalli Yule Athha must be too shocked of my destruction of Orb's entire fleet. Well she will need to blame herself of not being able to stop the alliance if not Orb would not fight us and get destroyed by me...

I felt my eyes narrowing as a deep feeling of disappointment and anger sprang to my heart. I will not let her go off this easily after her Orb attacked Minerva and me... Without thinking twice, I got Impulse to fly towards the pink Strike Rouge with my sword in front of my Impulse.

At a far distance away from me, I could see the previously unknown mobile that I had come to know as Freedom flying towards us. He must be trying to save Cagalli... Too bad... unknown to me, I smirked...

Quickly, I got Impulse to fly much faster towards the Orb representative's mobile suit, slashing my sword towards her direction but surprisingly, she suddenly seemed to snap out of her stupor, dodging my sword and using her shield to block my swing of my sword towards her cockpit quickly...

* * *

_**  
POV of Cagalli Yule Athha**_

Finally, Impulse walked slowly up to the bridge of Takemikazuchi and used one of its swords to slash past it. The blow of the sword made the whole ship blew up to smithereens. I do not know why but a tearing pain just tore through my whole body as if someone had just bravely sacrificed his life for Orb, his country...

I could not help but started to wail despairingly... my hands not stopping it's ascend up to my forehead as I saluted the ship's debris and left my MS's control panels.

_How could I be so selfish to think only of my own safety without caring about the lives and safety of Orb, the country that was under my power and responsibility? If only I had tried my best in stopping the treaty and not give in to pressure to marry Yuuna, this battle may better well be not happening at all... **SO HOW COULD I BE THIS SELFISH? IF ONLY I HAD RETURNED TO ORB, THIS BATTLE WOULD NOT HAPPEN AND THERE SHALL BE NO SACRIFICES MADE FOR ORB...** And I had been too afraid for my life that I did not dare to fight it out in my Strike Rouge, perhaps I maybe better off dead than alive now..._

Unknown to me, less and less tears are coming out of my eyes... and I could see that ZAFT gundam flying towards me with its two swords spread in front of him...

_... Is he going after my life now? Had he not killed enough already? _

A wave of anger washed over my senses as my suit's alarm went off... I could see the Impulse slashing his sword towards the cockpit that I was in. Suddenly, I remembered my first reason for entering the battles before me that involves Orb... I wanted to protect my beloved country Orb and will stop at nothing to stop Orb from fighting as EAF commands. But I had failed and I shall not fail again to do so...

"_First decide, and then follow through until the end. It's the only way to accomplish something."_

Lacus' words fell into my mind.

_Yes, I should not give up my life now... The sacrifices that the Orb soldiers had made can not be so easily made useless by me alone, even as I risk my life, I must work hard to survive and succeed in what I have in mind..._

At the same moment, I could see one jewel-like seed dropping downward from above my eyes and exploding in a shower of bright light...

In the next moment, I brought up my shield and blocked Impulse's sword. I gasped in mild surprise... I could feel my reflexes to be more heightened by now, I had this particular feeling at the Battle of Jakin Due as I fought in my Strike Rouge against Calamity too but I spared no second thoughts as I felt me and my suit being pushed backward by the other gundam's force.

But he did not give up, brandishing a beam boomerang out and throwing it towards me. Squinted my eyes, I also flashed out both of my beam sabers from the Aile pack, hacking the boomerangs into half very quickly. But I did expect him to be in front of me in such a short time as he pulled out his anti-armor knife from its hip armor and stabbed towards my cockpit that I was in.

In a split second, I instinctively made the 'arms' of my mobile suit push against its chest. Scarily, he also fired his CIWS weapons towards me... I could not help but scream out in fear... and waited for the blow to come but the pressure against my mobile suit caused by Impulse was suddenly removed from me as I saw Kira's Freedom behind Impulse, Freedom's 'hands' had pulled Impulse's free hand which was not holding any weapons backwards; its 'legs' kicking Impulse away.

Shockingly to both me and Kira, he had lent the strength of Freedom while Impulse was being kicked backward to throw his knife aiming at the top part of my cockpit causing a wave of cold air to rush towards me as I visually blacked out...

I could hear my twin brother calling out my name in his cockpit, call it our bond as twins that made me feel that but I could feel no more...

I just mumbled, "Where are you, Athrun?" And finally I could hear no more, nor feel anymore as a huge sound of water splashing onto me greeted my ears...

* * *

_**  
POV of Kira Yamato**_

"Cagalli!" I shouted in full worry for her as this gundam before me – Impulse went right in front of Strike Rouge. My eyes widened and anger entered my heart and mind once more. My protectiveness towards my sister had already made me damage Athrun's gundam Saviour so badly prior to this trip of mine here... so this pilot's motive to kill Cagalli made me even angry as it used its knife that was from his hip armor (I supposed) to stab right at the cockpit of the pink mobile suit of Cagalli...

Fortunately Cagalli made Strike Rouge's hand to try to push Impulse away from her, buying time for me to reach Impulse and pulled him towards me, then kicking him away to get him away from Cagalli...

Much to my surprise, Impulse used Freedom's weight to steady itself as his 'legs' pushed against mine, then threw the knife that had failed in the first attempt to stab Strike Rouge's cockpit into the same place.

But then again, Cagalli was lucky that the knife missed its cockpit directly. However, it left a large hole in the mobile suit's chest area armor, leaving the cockpit to Earth's atmospheric air. My mind went blank and just followed her, trying to catch onto one of Strike Rouge's parts towards myself.

But Impulse used its sword to slash towards my cockpit, preventing me from reaching Strike Rouge in time. It also went after it, bringing its sword down onto Strike Rouge. Immediately, my urge to keep her safe forced me to activate my beam rifles and shoot at Impulse's 'legs'...

Impulse paused in mid-air, attacking me instead of going after Strike Rouge – this was what I wanted but not looked forward to at all. Again, I fired at him again but he avoided them all, swinging his sword towards my weapon... It managed to take off part of my rifle's mouth and was still going towards me.

Every time I wanted to approach to where Strike Rouge is falling, he would use his long sword to block my way... And I could only watch in terror as Strike Rouge plunged straight into Black Sea, the huge form of Strike Rouge being washed away by the sea tides.

It was then did my battle with Impulse took an important turn as I pulled out my beam sabers and blocked Impulse's sword from hitting Freedom... Suddenly, more sounds of explosions entered our ears as the EAF forces sent their mobile suits to attack both Minerva and Archangel...

I in Freedom and Impulse spent no time in thinking twice to stop our individual battles and return to protect our ships. I do not know where Cagalli is right now but more important is Archangel's safety. I disarmed the Windams and surprisingly, the EAF battleships fired retreating flares up to the sky.

Therefore, Freedom stopped in mid-air and I decided to speak to Murrue-san. A screen appeared in the cockpit and I deactivated my SEED, "Murrue-san, do you know which way Strike Rouge is being carried to by the sea tides?"

The face of Archangel's captain – Murrue Ramius – was clearly seen with worry etched on her features, "We saw her flowing towards the North but I think Archangel will need to return for repairs. We will be in the Kingdom of Scandinavia at the base..."

"I know... And thanks to you, Murrue-san" I replied and without turning back at them I went towards the direction that Murrue-san gave to me...

I would wish to see Cagalli being well, but I am more concerned for her heart now... Athrun... he does not understand her pain... just as I cannot understand his pain.

And most importantly, had I went too far in destroying his gundam that badly? At the time of my action, I had only felt disappointment and anger at him...

_Does Athrun deserve Cagalli then?_

* * *

Hope you like this story of mine... and please give me constructive criticisms; I would love to see where my writing has gone too wrong in this fic...

Thanks a lot.


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